For those of you who are unaware, last night marked an event that most of the movie and videogame community had been waiting months for.  The Uwe Boll fights.

In case you are unfamiliar with Uwe Boll, he was the director of such staggeringly bad films as House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, and Bloodrayne.  His recent films are known as some of the worst of this generation, have made IMDB's (Internet Movie Database) bottom 100 films list, and have most likely stained the very idea of the "good videogame movie" for years to come.  Some have even gone as far as calling him the worst crime against humanity that Germany has ever fostered.

It is well known that Uwe Boll's critics are rather vocal with their opinions of him and his movies, just about anybody that knows anything about the man is.  Uwe Boll, on the other hand, thinks he is a great director and that everybody is just being mean to him, even to the point of saying that he made the perfect House of the Dead movie.  So he made an open challenge to his detractors. 

"Either put up or shut up!" he said, as he challenged any journalist or web writer man-enough to try and take him on in the ring.  An interesting concept to say the least, but what at the time a little known fact about Boll is that he was at one time a semiprofessional boxer.  This was sure to be good.

Over 30 people accepted Boll's challenge and Boll took the liberty to cherry pick those he wanted to actually stand up against in the ring.  He picked 4 people whom he said were the most qualified, the most notable name being Lowtax of Something Awful fame, and a 17 year old blogger (note; Boll is 41).

The fights were a spectacular disaster, as Boll thoroughly clobbered each contender within minutes, while filming the entire affair for his next film (Postal), and then victorious made some near unintelligible comment about how this somehow proved that he was a good movie maker.


Uwe Vs Lotax
Full fight on Google Video

It also seems that a little more than the public was aware of was going on behind the scenes.
According to Lotax who was his first contestant;
"Uwe Boll told me before the fight, "don't worry, it's just a PR stunt, I am not fighting for real" and then he (obviously) did. So after being smacked in the head, I said "fuck this" and STAYED THE FUCK DOWN."
He went on to say;
"The dude after me was throwing up and had an EMT by his side for about an hour. He eventually had to have an oxygen mask on. The dude after him was all bloodied up and looked like crap. They too made the mistake of believing Uwe Boll when he said it was just a PR thing, since neither really trained."
Further;
"There was an actual real critic who sparred with Uwe Boll a few nights ago, who was a real amateur boxer. Uwe refused to fight the guy in the ring; obviously he only wanted people with no boxing experience."
Nobody that Boll picked had trained for the event under the impression that it all a huge publicity stunt while Boll apparently took weeks of intensive training up untill the night of the matches to all but assure victory.
If true, that's really classy there Boll.  Trick your competition into thinking it's all fake and then get the perfect pounding footage for your movie.



Uwe Vs a 17 year old

Let me be the first to say that this publicity stunt was absolutely and pathetically retarded.  Uwe thinks that he actually accomplished something by challenging complete novices to a boxing match, when he himself was semi-pro.  Does he think that he a 41 year old athlete in a higher weight class with professional boxing training and experience proved something by beating the hell out of a 17 year old boy?  What exactly was this supposed to prove?  That you're a big man?  Now, if he wanted a fair challenge for everybody, how about he challenges his critics at something that they are most likely equally inexperienced at, like directing.  To me this just looked like a pathetic cry of "Shut up and stop making fun of me because I can beat you up."

Uwe Boll wanted to prove that he was the big cock of the walk, but all he ended up doing was just proving that he is a big cock.  Way to go Uwe, you're the man.

Lotax post fight interview

Uwe Bolls Wiki
Uwe Bolls IMDB

Read about this on SomethingAwful, what a turd this guy is.

Have at you!