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Rank: The Fucking Fury
Groups: {pDs} Member, Administration, News Editor, Server Admin
Joined: 5/8/2006
Posts: 609
Points: 120
Location: Seattle, WA
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You probably haven't noticed but the site has been down for the past week or so and wow what an adventure it had been. tl;dr: I accidentally the entire infrastructure.It all began that one fateful day that I don't necessarily recall due to all the hookers in my bed and blow in my face when I decided to RDP in to the Win2k8 server that runs this site. I notice that windows update had failed and hadn't updated in 5 fucking months. Being the good person that I am I go on and reboot the machine to see if it fixes it as the actual box had an uptime of about 6 months. Big fucking mistake. Back in the day WDF and I had a shit ton of gaming servers up and running and required some horse power so we acquired 3 dual quad-core 8gb 10k raptorblahnoonegivesafuck servers in a typical configuration of a domain controller and two slave machines running sites + SQL + game servers + vent + etc. Turns out it costs money to run those in a datacenter and shortly there after we went fucking broke and started begging for money to keep things going. Unfortunately, you all are cheap fucking heartless jew bastards and didn't chip in enough so we reduced that down to one box where it was a Domain controller with Hyper-V hosting things like IIS and SQL on separate instances in a cranky fashion where ASP would shit it self occasionally simply because I did not give a fuck and the other machines went in to a friends' rack and WDF's toilet. All was 'well' for months! But i turns trying to reboot windows once it reaches a half a year of uptime is a bad fucking idea. The box never came up so I had a noc monkey at our datacenter go press reset a couple times to no avail. This meant I actually had to pants on. I get extremely angry when I have to put pants on and have to go shit on everything. I grab the only two tools any man ever needs: a hammer and a roll of electrical tape and head over to the colo. I get there thinking I just had to F8 some shit but turns out the RAID1 shit itself and vomited out one of the hard drives and the failed windows updates had piled up to BSOD the system instantly. I pull the drives and take off. The next day I go and pull the box out of WDF's shithole and let it dry and slap the drives in. Turns out the fucker doesn't have RAM. No problem right? Fuck you, I'm not talking to you. Being the uber badasses that we are we got servers that take DDR FB-DIMMs so no normal consumer RAM actually fits the shits. So I go hunting for the other brother server at a friends warehouse. I had to literally pick the goddamn lock to liberate that box. I throw it in my hyper exotic sports rocket and bring it back home and split the ram between the machines to recover to the other one. Shits all fucked on the box. No way is it booting again. I copy over all the hundreds of gigs of Hyper-V VMs and get another matching HD for the box and stick my dick in it until it cries and bleeds and finally decides to work correctly: In the end we went from a broken Windows domain controller with Hyper-V VMs for SQL to IIS to an ubuntu server box with twice the ram and VMWare VMs running IIS + SQL without losing a single fucking thing which proves the point that I am a fucking god. We now return you to your regularly scheduled suck and I go and try to get to Diamond in SC2 1v1s. Hail to the king baby, sirus. I read ALL your private messages.
"I don't want the salami." -WDF
WDF: I told her that she could come over if she brought beer.
Sirus: Wait, you made the recovering alcoholic bring beer?
WDF: This shouldn't surprise you, this is me we're talking about... It'll be a test.
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Rank: The Fucking Fury
Groups: {pDs} Member, Administration, News Editor, Server Admin
Joined: 5/8/2006
Posts: 609
Points: 120
Location: Seattle, WA
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Let me know what doesn't work right now as this was a big change. Shit should be significantly faster now. Also I am willing to spin up a VM for you guys to self manage if you'd like to continue the path of mutiny... Bastards. I read ALL your private messages.
"I don't want the salami." -WDF
WDF: I told her that she could come over if she brought beer.
Sirus: Wait, you made the recovering alcoholic bring beer?
WDF: This shouldn't surprise you, this is me we're talking about... It'll be a test.
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Rank: Fecal Impaction For the Win!
Groups: Ogamer, Registered User
Joined: 5/9/2006
Posts: 1,664
Points: 2,472
Location: La Habra, Orange, CA
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Fucking lol'd. This forum needs more threads like this one again. Jesus christ man. silverwasp wrote:Be careful what you wish for... I have 10 younger siblings and I am only 20....
Yes.... Same parents WarMachine wrote:meh...maybe if he hadn't been handed a burning house he could have done great things, but right now he has won the Prize for what? Damage Control?
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Rank: The Fucking Fury
Groups: {pDs} Member, Administration, News Editor, Server Admin
Joined: 5/8/2006
Posts: 609
Points: 120
Location: Seattle, WA
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Xoxo, Also one more thing, the IP address of the web server has changed and a lot of DNS servers have cached the old one so it will take a lil while for it to propagate through the intertubes. I read ALL your private messages.
"I don't want the salami." -WDF
WDF: I told her that she could come over if she brought beer.
Sirus: Wait, you made the recovering alcoholic bring beer?
WDF: This shouldn't surprise you, this is me we're talking about... It'll be a test.
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Rank: Pooter Scooter
Groups: Registered User, Server Admin
Joined: 11/8/2006
Posts: 2,465
Points: 2,094
Location: San Antonio, Texas
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You so smart sirus :B In an hour of Darkness a blind man is the best guide. In an age of Insanity look to the madman to lead the way. 
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Rank: You're gonna stick that where?
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User
Joined: 1/8/2009
Posts: 119
Points: 258
Location: Seattle, WA
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Holy shit dude. I work in the industry and I know how how much time it takes to restore a server--let alone having to pick the lock to WDF's chastity belt just to fist your way to some ram bits. Now that's beyond the call of duty.
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Rank: Administration
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User, Server Admin, Administration
Joined: 3/27/2008
Posts: 1,702
Points: 3,101
Location: Arizona
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Man, thanks Sirus. I owe you one. I might even propagate your intertubes if you ask nicely. I know what a pain in the ass an emergency server repair can be and it'd be far worse having to deal with all the specialty pieces you guys have. If a sliced off VM can get us access at the source code level and/or the SQL database, then I'd love one. Otherwise there's no need. Staring at compiled .NET files doesn't give a person much capacity to pull out misplaced dicks.
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Rank: Penguin Editor in Chief
Groups: Newsie, {pDs} Member
Joined: 6/15/2006
Posts: 594
Points: 486
Location: Scotland, Geographical Penguin Shit
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Fuck....I was scared this place disappeared. Thanks a lot for fixing shit <3 I can't believe everything's still here, you fucking rock so much that I'd blow you if I was a woman. "Videogames are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n' roll." - Shigeru Miyamoto  Hail Slither, The Eternal Champion!
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Rank: Fuckstick
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User
Joined: 4/7/2008
Posts: 1,092
Points: 1,953
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Thanks for fixing it! I won't blow you, though.  Belligerent Pimp wrote: The Man Society just suspended my man card for a week for getting rickrolled by Mrs. Mary Midwestern Housewife.
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Rank: Polio Power!
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User
Joined: 12/22/2007
Posts: 502
Points: 504
Location: in a pathetic world of fleshies
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holy crap man, well done! hope this is why you get paid the big bucks. Bah Weep Granah Weep Ninny Bong
This is the Narwhal.
Denne er narkval
Hvor er narkval?
Where is the narwhal?
Lykkkelig liten narkval!
Happy Little narwal!
This has been Conversational Norwegian with Freakazoid.
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Rank: Administration
Groups: {pDs} Member, Server Admin, Administration
Joined: 6/18/2009
Posts: 1,422
Points: -25,484
Location: USA, Indiana
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Heh. I'll blow you, as long as Mr. C watches. If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe. - Carl Sagan My Backpack
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Rank: Polio Power!
Groups: Registered User, Server Admin
Joined: 6/14/2008
Posts: 620
Points: 1,278
Location: San Diego
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Muffalopadus wrote:Heh. I'll blow you, as long as Mr. C watches. I'm not sure which part of this is creepier. Blowing a dude for tech favors is normal, but wanting a married guy to watch? Not sure where you want that to go... And thanks for the fixing of all the stuff I didn't understand Sirus- I read the whole thing even though I understood only the parts about chastity and asian hookers in kimono's.
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Rank: Fecal Impaction For the Win!
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User, Server Admin
Joined: 11/27/2007
Posts: 1,611
Points: 2,025
Location: Birmingham, Alabama
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I installed Windows 7 on my computer. In light of this thread I am such a loser. :(
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Rank: Polio Power!
Groups: Registered User, Server Admin
Joined: 6/14/2008
Posts: 620
Points: 1,278
Location: San Diego
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Razor wrote:I installed Windows 7 on my computer. In light of this thread I am such a loser. :( How many attempts did it take? And did you use the little paperclip guy as tech support?
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Rank: Fecal Impaction For the Win!
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User, Server Admin
Joined: 11/27/2007
Posts: 1,611
Points: 2,025
Location: Birmingham, Alabama
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ahhhh_crap wrote:How many attempts did it take? And did you use the little paperclip guy as tech support? Just one, which is why I was proud of myself until, well this.
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