My last girlfriend broke up with me about 5 months ago. It's old news now and I feel ready to move on. There's a girl where I work that I was interested in, even told her so. She (We'll call this girl Whitney) declined, saying that she too was working on recovering from a relationship, and didn't much want anything on the romantic front. But she took my words as kindness and we still hang out and remain friendly to this day. My hopes are still in for her, but I'm letting it have time.

About a week passes.

I have another co-worker (we'll call her Linda) who talks and stays friendly with me--but only that. I didn't find myself romantically attracted to her. A pleasant person and fun to talk to, but I couldn't see anything larger happening. She mentioned that she'd never smoked pot and I offered to hook her up. She takes me up on the offer and mentions this to Whitney, who has also never smoked. She comes along too.

We're all in Linda's car, driving to the local golf course (it's 10:00PM on a tuesday night) and we get everything ready, smoke a couple bowls and we're all pretty relaxed.

No, this isn't a threesome story.

Whitney previously mentioned that she had to be home by 11:30, and we stick to that schedule. After trundling around the golf course for a bit, laughing and talking, we make our way to Linda's car, decide I should be the one to drive and we drop Whitney off at her house. Now it's just Linda and I in the car.

We drive around aimlessly, talking and talking. Through the course of this I feel an extreme connection with Linda, one I hadn't originally thought possible. Our minds click into perfect synch with one another. After driving for about an hour or so, we decide to park next to an empty baseball field and hang out.

After a long silence filled with mutual realization, Linda and I start making out. This continues for about three hours until 3:30 or so. We're both filled to the brim with elation and euphoria. What have I found? Why hadn't it been clear to me before that what I wanted was right in front of me all along?

We decide the night has to end sometime and she drops me off at my place. I go to sleep with the widest grin I've held in a long time.

Then the morning comes.

"I've made a huge mistake."

If this gets out, and if Linda and I start dating--

a) Cut off from my chances with Whitney, who I also (and originally) really, really liked and wanted to be with.
b) Would make my workplace extremely awkward (Linda isn't exactly regarded as the finest catch, if you know what I'm saying)
c) Would occupy more of my time than I can spare from school, a huge point of concern for me.

I can't hold onto Linda. I don't want to. It was fun, it was nice, but I can't. I'm not evil, it's just the facts.

How do I let her down?

Just tell her that you thought it was all about having fun, and you didn't really see it as anything more then fun. You didn't like tell her you love her or anything?

Whitney is the one I showed you.

Nobody dropped any "I love yous" or "forevers," but the unspoken feeling at the end of the night was that this wasn't a one-time thing. I guess my challenge is to make it a one-time thing. Hopefully, she'll understand.

Four words:

Sorry, I was High

Five words:

Sorry, we were both High

Three words:

I blame Ed

Seven words:

I'm a man, I like making out

So you are passing on a girl who made you feel the happiest about things in a long time and who you had a connection with because of the following:
1. holding your cards for a good looking girl who already turned you down. 2. Are afraid of what other people think. 3. Don't have the time to be happy.
Makes since to me.
Curious, why go to all the trouble of mentioning how great the evening was with her, even sober, if you "dont want to hold on to her".

You're a single male in your early 20s...when are you concerned about ever being honest with a chick? Especially a chick you admit you're not very attracted to.

As I am now in my late 20s, a lesson I've learned from my early 20s is that ladies in their early 20s, especially single ladies in their early 20s only care about honesty from a guy so much (like about this much) You can market your honest streak all you want, and you'll either get walked on all over by a chick that won't respect you, or you'll be ignored where you'll be like "Hey, at least I'm honest" and she'll be like "Oh, how cute" as she walks away with a dude that'll just cheat on her.

Now I'm not saying you lie to your relatively unattractive friend that you made out with once. All I would say is now that you've established what boundaries you want with this girl, you have to communicate to her what those boundaries are. Also, make sure to establish that you respect the friendship and want to keep the friendship (if you really do), and if she respects the friendship and wants to keep the friendship too, that she also respects the boundaries.



Women...it's all their fault

Tell her your boyfriend just recently put a shotgun to his face and you're very confused and frightened at this point in your life.