MODERN GAMING
No More Heroes
Developer:  Grasshopper Entertainment
Publisher:  Ubisoft/Rising Star Games/Spike
Year:  2008
Genre:  Action/Adventure
System:  Wii


Within the ever engulfing mire of videogame mediocrity there are a few islands of good games surviving amidst the rip-offs, girly games and movie-based games.  Some islands bear elevated green plains of open space and freshness, while others even have a budding thriving tree of ingenuity, creativity and innovation to nourish our minds.  There are several people in videogames who have planted these trees and some are debatable.  One such name in this list is Suda 51.

Story - Suda 51, creator of the sociopolitical on-rail shooter drama Killer7, returns with a game that while has its head more firmly on the ground than Killer7, is about to forcefully meet the curb of free-roaming streets.  No More Heroes stars Travis Touchdown, a sad pathetic loser striving out an existence in his apartment with only anime, wrestling and his cat for company.
One day he wins a beam katana on an internet auction and is inducted into the United Assassin's Association, needing the money they offer, and agreeing on a job to kill the 13th ranked assassin in the USA.  After this, he begins a steady dangerous crawl towards being the number 1 assassin in the country against a wide range of enemies from schoolgirls to postmen to old women, all of whom are well-trained.
His agent in the UAA is Silvia Christel, a French woman who while mysteriously cold, is also a major cocktease, easily playing on his young needs.  There is also his master Thunder Ryu, Dr Naomi the weapons specialist, and the drunken Russian Lovikov who teaches Travis some new techniques.


Gameplay - While Travis may be a sad Anime-humping loser, he's still got a beam katana that will slice you apart and so you must not only understand him, but also his world.  The city of Santa Destroy claims to be quite open but is in actual fact rather closed.  If Vice City is enough sand to build a castle, then Santa Destroy is rather enough to make one turret.
But there are still a few things to do.
Firstly there's collecting the Lovikov Balls, which you can use to obtain moves from the guy of the same name (Lovikov that is, not Balls, I mean come on, what kinda name would be Balls, seriously), then there's the digging (or rather stabbing the ground) to collect money, as well as kicking open dumpsters for either money or clothing.  Lastly, during the main assassinations you can collect lucha libre wrestling trading cards, for those among you who probably finished Super Mario Galaxy to the real end.

To explain that last part, you need money, like everyone.  Money can be obtained by three ways.  Assassination missions, part-time jobs, and searching the city in either the ground or dumpsters.
Assassination missions can be found at the K-Entertainment building (these are not the main missions to go further in the ranking but rather sub-assassination missions), but unfortunately they can only be opened up when you prove you're right for the job by doing a part-time job.  I assume this is to show you're hardworking enough to go for it, but come on, you have the sword and the ranking to prove you can kill, why do you have to prove you can be an assassin by collecting coconuts or mowing the lawns?
Anyways, the part-time jobs are actually quite entertaining and there will be one of them at least that you will enjoy.  I personally enjoy the lawn mowing and you do at least get some different change of commands than the usual.  You can traverse the city on foot or on the absolutely pimpin' Schpeltiger motorcycle.  More anime shit here with giant fuckin' bikes, that's another off the checklist.


Now as well as collecting money, you can also spend it on a wide range of things.  You can upgrade your weapon, buy clothes at the store to look an even badder-ass loser of an assassin with awesome dress sense (we're talking about 10 MegaFonzies here folks), and also buy training exercises from Thunder Ryu to be more stronger and ever closer to being beyond the durability of a wet wipe.  There are also wrestling moves to learn from wrestling videos at the video store.
Money is also essential in progressing the storyline due to the entry fee needed to head onto the next Assassin, of which there is no time limit for so you can take as long as you wish.  Part-time jobs and assassination missions are also replayable so collecting money is not essentially difficult.  And lastly, you save your game by finding a toilet to "relax".  Not that kinda relaxing, the other kind when you're quite...full. Of course you see nothing below the bely and you don't wanna see (most of you don't anyway).  Loading automatically happens when you start the game and it will go to your newest file.


Now we progress to the main meat of the game, the battles.  A handy tutorial at the very start of the game will help hone your skills in being able to attack, block, dodge and throw opponents.  Attacking is a simple matter of repeatedly pressing A and the final strike dealt with moving the wiimote in the direction shown.  You can either just flick it to the left or really SLICE it across, it won't matter, but you'll still look as cool/lame either way.  When you get down to it, the battle becomes nothing but button-mashing broken up by the occasional wiimote waggling that is starting to replace button-mashing.  Not that this is a bad thing for some if you enjoy that sort of thing.  You also have to recharge your katana by shaking the wiimote.
Yes, you read that right.

Shaking the wiimote.  Just like when you shake a remote control and the battery's getting reaaaaal low.  It almost feels like jacking off...jacking off some ENERGY, baby!  Gonna jack myself ON this shit!  Seriously, it's actually quite fun recharging it, especially in a boss battle going "come ON you fucking thing, work!"
Another thing in battles is a slot machine function at the bottom of the screen, known as Dark Side.  Everytime you kill an enemy you may get a chance to obtain a super power temporarily.  You'll either have slowed-down enemies allowing you to hack away at them insanely fast, very slow-motion enemies who die with one button, turning into a hyper-powered Dragonball-haired dude who only has to slash once and then deal a finishing blow in ANY direction (this is so going to be the one activated when everyone else in the room is dead), and lastly able to shoot out an energy wave towards enemies from afar.


Graphics - The main reason why Suda 51 is well-known is his games have a very unique style, a cel-shaded manga look to it all that's refreshing and striking to see.  In comparison to Killer7, not only are the graphics sharper, but also include more lighter colours compared to Killer7's darker contrasts, with the same artistic finesse given to it all.  Every piece of the game is stunning to behold, even the loading screens have some merit by turning into cool white-brick walls with the screen going rather graffiti-like.
Another interesting graphical point is the difference between the American version and the rest of the world.  In the American version, when enemies are dealt a finishing blow, they're brutally sliced in two or decapitated into blood fountains.  Very anime, wouldn't you say?
However, the rest of the world such as Japan and Europe have enemies instead turning into piles of black ash.  Now whether this is just pandering to the American violence in an insulting manner and giving an artistic style to the others or just a whim of Suda himself, is up to you.  It's just an interesting thing to mention.

Music/Sound - If you enjoyed the techno works of Killer7, then get ready for some rockin'!  Masafumi Takada returns with a fresh new soundtrack that mixes in ambient techno, electro-rock and plain old techno to get anyone's heart pumping.  Ranging from the Spanish guitar strumming of the open world to the manic-sounding boss battles, it has it all, and is even available on iTunes.  One I love in particular is Steel Python, the boss music for Dr Peace, which sounds absolutely mental.
The voice acting is, like Killer7, absolutely top notch with high-class voice actors you may well know of doing some voice or another of your TV or gaming experiences if you look up their resumes.  So in terms of sound, this game delivers AND gives you a discount.


So, let's see what we have here?
Sad normal wanker slightly over his head?  Check.
Awesome copyright-treading weapon?  Check.
Huge muthafuckin' motorcycle that could probably total cars with one crash?  Check.
Cold mysterious bitch?  Double check.
Surprise family twist?  ....gonna leave that one for you to fill in.
Hell the game even has a fucking animal buddy, it's an anime game, but one of the cooler ones that you'll actually watch 10 minutes of even after 5 minutes of motorcycling around the city.  Nevertheless, it's a welcome addition to the Wii's meager library of must-have games and certainly welcome for the more mature audience demanding some virtual blood to fill in the gaps.

Fun and Innovation - 3
Replayability - 2
Gameplay - 3
Presentation - 4