9. Stand still and let them show you how shitty their aim is!

This one is always humorous to watch, because the enemy is actually trying to kill you to the best of their ability, but they can’t even if you stand still.  What makes this one of the best ways to pwn is the fact that while they are moving around like retarded monkeys and flinging shit at you, all you have to do is stand still and shoot them once, and guess what?  It’s over.  You showed them you don’t have time to fuck around with retarded monkeys.


8. Return their orbs!

I have a special place in my black, cold heart for this one.  Nothing is more annoying than someone spamming the shit out of you with orbs, and I know many of you can agree with me on this one.  But what can be more embarrassing for them than loading up a room with 3 orbs, only to have one caught and punched back into their colon?  Given this doesn’t always work, it still allows for bragging rights when it does though.

7. Hurl something retarded at them!

Ah, I love Half-Life 2 because of the random shit you can pick up in the maps and use as weapons.  Ever eaten a Lego Man head before?  What about a bucket?  The brilliant thing about this style is that it has no end!  It’s funny as shit to kill a rocket whore with something relatively stupid that’s just lying around.  Put it to thought, how the fuck is “Rocket < Bucket” not funny?

6. SLAM their asses down to the ground!

Sure, SLAMs can be fun, but they’re not nearly as fun just laying randomly, or on the wall as they are under an object that looks relatively innocent.  Ever put a slam under a barrel or a crate?  Try it.  Put it in a hallway and under an object so when the dumbass taps the object just a tiny bit, it goes off.  This always is funny as hell when they try to pick the object up to throw it at you, only to find that it explodes in their face!

5. Pin their pathetic corpse to the wall!

a)  Everyone has done this from time to time, and it is always a subject of humor when it happens.  It’s one thing to kill you enemy, but it’s another thing to put it on display for the rest of their team mates to laugh at also.  This is the best way to get the point across to “not fuck with the guy who knows how to shoot the bolts.”

b) Not enough fun yet?  There is one other xbow trick that is embarrassing to get killed with.  Place a SLAM on the ground and shoot an xbow bolt on the slam model itself at a 90 degree angle (straight above the SLAM, for those of you who are complete idiots), and it will make the bolt travel slow as hell.  Shoot a few of these down a hallway and watch your victims start flooding “wtf” in the chat box!

4. Provoke them to drown themselves!

So your enemy thinks he’s tough shit, but has fallen into a pool of water and is pistol-pwning you down with his l33t aiming skills.  What do you do?  You move around and do nothing.  Water is your friend, and if you do this right, he will have drowned himself from trying so hard to kill you because he was too much of a dumb fucker to pay attention to his oxygen!  Obviously, if you are low on oxygen then you should just move around on the surface while he eats his own shit in the water.

3. The classic mid-air pwn!

This guarantees a smile each time for me.  See a sneaky dipshit using the jump pad to get inside your base even faster?  Hit them in the air and make their landing a rough one!  Sometimes one shot doesn’t knock their shit into oblivion, but at least it will push them away making them land in an area completely different to where they intended to be.