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Rank: Coathanger Abortion
Groups: {pDs} Member, Server Admin
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I've always found many things absurd as I go about my day. Like the asshole who honks at the car in front of him even though there is traffic that clearly can't go anywhere, WTF? Or today, I explained to a professional archivist why he should not keep important data stored on his local machine, especially when he has a fucking network share that gets automagically backed up nightly! I explained this to an archivist! A professional archivist! WTF? Razor wrote:Killing people is good therapy.  
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Rank: Administration
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Posts: 1,400
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How about this, just today. Him: "HEY STOP!" Me: "Uhh...ok." Him: "Hey man, do you smoke" (Thats what it sounded like) Me: "Uh, no sorry man I don't smoke." Him: "No no, do you have a cigarette?" Me: "...obviously not, I just said I don't smoke." Him: "...oh." If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe. - Carl Sagan My Backpack
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Rank: Fecal Impaction For the Win!
Groups: Ogamer, Registered User
Joined: 5/9/2006
Posts: 1,664
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Location: La Habra, Orange, CA
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Muffalopadus wrote:How about this, just today.
Him: "HEY STOP!"
Me: "Uhh...ok."
Him: "Hey man, do you smoke" (Thats what it sounded like)
Me: "Uh, no sorry man I don't smoke."
Him: "No no, do you have a cigarette?"
Me: "...obviously not, I just said I don't smoke."
Him: "...oh." He was asking if you had weed. You effectively told him no. So he tried to cover his ass by saying he meant a cig. silverwasp wrote:Be careful what you wish for... I have 10 younger siblings and I am only 20....
Yes.... Same parents WarMachine wrote:meh...maybe if he hadn't been handed a burning house he could have done great things, but right now he has won the Prize for what? Damage Control?
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Rank: Fecal Impaction For the Win!
Groups: Newsie, Registered User
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Posts: 1,299
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Speaking of being in traffic today, I was stopped at a light with three cars infront of me in the turn lane. We all sat there, and I watched their blinkers blink simultaneously the entire time. Not that 3-5 seconds of blinking at the same time then desyncing, but it was synced perfectly. I've never seen that before and always wanted to. I'll never forget today. {pDs} Lead Salad: bike why did you change your name
Jessica343: so I can get heals
{pDs} Lead Salad: oh damn good idea
{pDs} Lead Salad has changed their name to {pDs} Lead Salad (is a girl)
Jessica343: hahah
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Rank: The Number 12 Personified
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Location: next to 11 and 13
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I remember going to the dentist once, and after finishing up the appointment, my dentist -- seemingly alright with the fact that she was in the middle of practice with another patient -- asked me how life was. I told her I was taking care of dog and (insert something funny about what Mr.12 does in his free time). Thinking I was going to head out the door in 5 minutes flat since my appointment was over, she went on to talk about how much of a dog lover she was. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy conversationalist of all kinds, but the moment was unexpected, especially since all of her employees seemingly joined into the conversation and gave wonderful if not equally unexpected stories about their dogs. Furthermore, she went on to ask if I could bring my dog into her office on my next appointment. I didn't leave that building until an hour later. I'm now responsible for bringing in a dog into a professional establishment where cleanliness and sanitation is of the utmost importance. Oh the irony... DredNaught wrote:In regard to the ladies... or lack thereof: Just remember that it's about quality, not quantity. And when you do meet a lucky lady, don't be a fool, wrap your tool!
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Rank: Taco Technician
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A few weeks ago I met a guy on the bus.. It was like 11:45 at night and I was downtown riding the 49, which always seems to have at least one nutter on it. I was sitting in the very back like I always do, and suddenly a big black dude with dreads comes to the back to sit down. At first he looked kinda thuggin. Not TOTALLY thuggin but he looked haggered and a bit dirty. So being the racist I am I stored a mental note of defensiveness. Out of nowhere he goes "Hey man you got a phone I can use?" Honestly I don't like even my friends using my phone (I need my minutes, bitch, raise up off my minutes), so without thinking, as usual, "No, sorry man" "Really?" "Nah." " Really?" "....alright, fine." So he calls his friend and tells him some shit. From his tone of voice and that I can tell he's actually a pretty chill guy. "Hey thanks, man" "Yeah, no problem." A few seconds. "Hey you want some weed?" I laughed. "Nah, I don't have any money on me.." "Oh, it's cool, I get medical marijuana for free.." !!! "Seriously?" He pulls a bowl-sized nug out of a mint tin and gives it to me. I was flabbergasted. We then talked about medical marijuana, then he mentioned he was a freegan, and a member of some reggae band. He gave me an old flier "Check us out on myspace, man" and wrote his email on the back. We talked about hip-hop for a while then he got off. That was also the day I bought the moped. I was all over the place all day.. it was a wild one.
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Rank: Fecal Impaction For the Win!
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Lead Salad wrote:A few weeks ago I met a guy on the bus.. It was like 11:45 at night and I was downtown riding the 49, which always seems to have at least one nutter on it. I was sitting in the very back like I always do, and suddenly a big black dude with dreads comes to the back to sit down. At first he looked kinda thuggin. Not TOTALLY thuggin but he looked haggered and a bit dirty. So being the racist I am I stored a mental note of defensiveness. Out of nowhere he goes "Hey man you got a phone I can use?" Honestly I don't like even my friends using my phone (I need my minutes, bitch, raise up off my minutes), so without thinking, as usual, "No, sorry man" "Really?" "Nah." " Really?" "....alright, fine." So he calls his friend and tells him some shit. From his tone of voice and that I can tell he's actually a pretty chill guy. "Hey thanks, man" "Yeah, no problem." A few seconds. "Hey you want some weed?" I laughed. "Nah, I don't have any money on me.." "Oh, it's cool, I get medical marijuana for free.." !!! "Seriously?" He pulls a bowl-sized nug out of a mint tin and gives it to me. I was flabbergasted. We then talked about medical marijuana, then he mentioned he was a freegan, and a member of some reggae band. He gave me an old flier "Check us out on myspace, man" and wrote his email on the back. We talked about hip-hop for a while then he got off. That was also the day I bought the moped. I was all over the place all day.. it was a wild one. What. The. FUCK. silverwasp wrote:Be careful what you wish for... I have 10 younger siblings and I am only 20....
Yes.... Same parents WarMachine wrote:meh...maybe if he hadn't been handed a burning house he could have done great things, but right now he has won the Prize for what? Damage Control?
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Rank: Fecal Impaction For the Win!
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Lead Salad wrote:A few weeks ago I met a guy on the bus.. It was like 11:45 at night and I was downtown riding the 49, which always seems to have at least one nutter on it. I was sitting in the very back like I always do, and suddenly a big black dude with dreads comes to the back to sit down. At first he looked kinda thuggin. Not TOTALLY thuggin but he looked haggered and a bit dirty. So being the racist I am I stored a mental note of defensiveness. Out of nowhere he goes "Hey man you got a phone I can use?" Honestly I don't like even my friends using my phone (I need my minutes, bitch, raise up off my minutes), so without thinking, as usual, "No, sorry man" "Really?" "Nah." " Really?" "....alright, fine." So he calls his friend and tells him some shit. From his tone of voice and that I can tell he's actually a pretty chill guy. "Hey thanks, man" "Yeah, no problem." A few seconds. "Hey you want some weed?" I laughed. "Nah, I don't have any money on me.." "Oh, it's cool, I get medical marijuana for free.." !!! "Seriously?" He pulls a bowl-sized nug out of a mint tin and gives it to me. I was flabbergasted. We then talked about medical marijuana, then he mentioned he was a freegan, and a member of some reggae band. He gave me an old flier "Check us out on myspace, man" and wrote his email on the back. We talked about hip-hop for a while then he got off. That was also the day I bought the moped. I was all over the place all day.. it was a wild one. You met the Weed-Fairy! He travels around looking for people to fulfill good deeds and then rewards them with Pot.
Quote:
"Who the fuck is Leon Switch and why does he know we have a dog?" - Mrs. Giller
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Rank: Coathanger Abortion
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I've been offered pot randomly many times. In college I worked in the dorms doing IT stuff, part of which involved going to peoples rooms and helping them with computer stuff. I have seen computers destroyed by bongwater. The most random of these was when I went to help someone and they were having a fondue party. Encountering a fondue party while at work is really weird. To make it weirder they were listening to Frank Sinatra. Razor wrote:Killing people is good therapy.
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Rank: Coathanger Abortion
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Today's absurdity: Whut, my girlfriend, and I were busting our asses cleaning the house in prep for our 4th of July BBQ party (I nearly vomited while cleaning the bathroom, I can't imagine what Whutster had to deal with in the kitchen). While we are doing this someone else who lives here is hanging out at our bar with his friend drinking beers my girlfriend bought and not assisting with the cleaning. Guess who offered to help us clean? I turned him down of course, I never expect guests to clean unless they are extremely insistent, but it was very funny and a little bit weird nonetheless. Razor wrote:Killing people is good therapy.
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Rank: Fuckstick
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You mean the guest offered to clean but your housemate didn't? Quote:I never expect guests to clean unless they are extremely insistent. That's good to know though. I always expect guests to offer to do dishes, especially after that great meal I've cooked for them, but I'm sometimes a little hurt when they don't. It's weird entertaining as a no-income college student.
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Yeah, I don't expect guests to help out with cleaning, but it's really nice when they offer. If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe. - Carl Sagan My Backpack
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Rank: Coathanger Abortion
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Leon Switch wrote:You mean the guest offered to clean but your housemate didn't?
That's good to know though. I always expect guests to offer to do dishes, especially after that great meal I've cooked for them, but I'm sometimes a little hurt when they don't. It's weird entertaining as a no-income college student. Yep, that's exactly what I mean. Instead of getting aggro I found it absurd and amusing. Depending on circumstances I do expect that guests will offer to help out in some way, but besides bringing food/booze I generally reject the offer unless they are very adamant. In this case it was some guy I'd never met before who I don't think had even been here very long and who had not contributed to the mess in any way that I am aware of. Offering to help us clean was about the last thing I'd expect the guy to do. Razor wrote:Killing people is good therapy.
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Rank: Fuckstick
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Lead Salad wrote:A few weeks ago I met a guy on the bus.. It was like 11:45 at night and I was downtown riding the 49, which always seems to have at least one nutter on it. I was sitting in the very back like I always do, and suddenly a big black dude with dreads comes to the back to sit down. At first he looked kinda thuggin. Not TOTALLY thuggin but he looked haggered and a bit dirty. So being the racist I am I stored a mental note of defensiveness. Out of nowhere he goes "Hey man you got a phone I can use?" Honestly I don't like even my friends using my phone (I need my minutes, bitch, raise up off my minutes), so without thinking, as usual, "No, sorry man" "Really?" "Nah." " Really?" "....alright, fine." So he calls his friend and tells him some shit. From his tone of voice and that I can tell he's actually a pretty chill guy. "Hey thanks, man" "Yeah, no problem." A few seconds. "Hey you want some weed?" I laughed. "Nah, I don't have any money on me.." "Oh, it's cool, I get medical marijuana for free.." !!! "Seriously?" He pulls a bowl-sized nug out of a mint tin and gives it to me. I was flabbergasted. We then talked about medical marijuana, then he mentioned he was a freegan, and a member of some reggae band. He gave me an old flier "Check us out on myspace, man" and wrote his email on the back. We talked about hip-hop for a while then he got off. That was also the day I bought the moped. I was all over the place all day.. it was a wild one. You bought a moped and you were riding the bus?  Quote:Razor: As hard as one might try no one will ever be able to pull one over on Super Penguin. Backpack of Win
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Rank: Taco Technician
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Super Penguin wrote:You bought a moped and you were riding the bus? Obviously it needed to be fixed
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